Get Lizzy's first chapter free and join my readers' group! Send Me my First Chapter!Send Me my First Chapter!

Here Chicken Chicken Chicken

In April, the Apocalypse occurred.

My husband bought chickens.

He told me he and the kids were getting me a surprise.  I was thinking something shiny and  sparkly that costs lots of money.

I only got the “costs lots of money” correct.

We had discussed chickens.  I had said no.  I need to find a new word.

Chickens were purchased because they are supposed to give us eggs and you can give them food and water and leave them alone in the hutch.

This is very, very wrong.

The chickens don’t like their hutch.  It’s a nice hutch.  It said it was for 5-7 chickens and there are only three.  I don’t know how 5-7 were to live in it because with the 3, it seems crowded.  And they like to get out.

I think they purposely knock over their water and start making tons of noise so that they’ll get more.  Then, when the door is open, they try to make a run for it.

See them waiting at the door?

See them waiting at the door?

I was supposed to have nothing to do with them.  This worked great when it was summer and the kids were around all day.  But now they’re in school and the chickens can be incredibly loud.

I’m usually very good at keeping them in the cage when I feed them.  I yell and kick and you’d think they’d hate me.  But today, I wasn’t quick enough and they got out.  Then they followed me around.

It was creepy.

I cut up a green tomato to get them back in the cage but that didn’t work.  I threw in an oatmeal cookie and that didn’t work.  I even tried some apple bread.

What worked?  Lemon bread.  Go figure.  (We had a gathering at our house this week.  I don’t normally have this amount of baked goods.)

So now we have annoying chickens that are probably developing cavities.

This is a horrible picture but if you squint, you can see lemon bread.

This is a horrible picture but if you squint, you can see lemon bread.

They’re cackling right now.  It’s driving me nuts.

Is it illegal to hire someone to kill chickens?

0 Comments

  1. le0pard13 says:

    Tastes like chicken 😉

  2. Trish Loye says:

    Omg, you have chickens. *shakes head* I don’t even know what to say…
    Maybe leave the door open one night? Maybe they’ll ‘escape’.

  3. livrancourt says:

    We had chickens for about six years, and while it’s not something I’m proud of, those were some of the best hundred-dollar eggs I’ve ever eaten. Between the cost of the coop and the feed and the bedding and the extravagant amount I spent on vet bills when poor Acorn developed respiratory distress…

  4. livrancourt says:

    Also, raccoons are nature’s chicken exterminators. Dogs can be good at that, too. They like to play chicken-frisbee.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: