A Recap of the Summer Thus Far

Excuses

I’ve been neglecting all things not related to: 

  1. dental conferences
  2. packing
  3. unpacking
  4. laundry
  5. dinosaurs
  6. Schitt’s Creek

Writing has not fallen into any of those categories, unfortunately.  This summer has been incredibly busy.  We started traveling in June and I feel like my first real break is this week.

My dear husband’s brother wanted to go to “Cuba” for his 40th.  Luckily, the trip was planned and paid for before Trump’s Florida speech.  And if anyone from NSA is reading this, we went to Little Havana in Miami.

It was amazing.  So beautiful.  I loved every minute.  Everyone should make a plan to go to “Florida” right now.  (Especially before it becomes harder to visit.)

I’m joking about the NSA but they still make me nervous, so I’m not posting any pictures.  The federal gov’t makes me nervous in general right now and I don’t want to upset anyone and get an angry Tweet.  (But maybe I have to work in the White House for that.)

((I KNOW.  I don’t get political here.  And I don’t feel like I am.  I’m simply expressing some of my fears.  I’m saving the politics for my review of Al Franken’s latest book.  Stay Tuned.))

Anyhoo

I came home with a bad bug.  We were supposed to go backpacking, but instead dear husband took dear daughter and left me alone to slowly dehydrate.  (Dear sons were with grandparents.)  That took a good week of my life.  And I just didn’t feel like writing while lying next to a toilet.  If that’s what it takes to succeed in this business, I may need to find another maddening and depressing occupation.

(Writers will get this.)

Dinosaurs

Luckily my stomach was basically settled by the time my youngest and I headed to Calgary for Paleontology Camp at the Royal Tyrrell Museum.  We loved this camp!  Dear youngest has wanted to be a paleontologist since birth and this camp was an eye opener.  We weren’t going to discover a t-rex skull.  Most of the time, we were looking for little things.  Seeds, teeth, amber.  The bone we found was too weathered to identify as anything specific.  We looked through microscopes and picked things up in tweezers and then couldn’t tell if we’d got them into the test tube or not because they were that small.

We learned about biological drawing and then took our turn at it.  Additionally, we went on hikes to look for teeth and anything else that would be of significance.  (I did not make any significant discoveries.  I found a lot of rocks that look like bone.)  We went swimming one evening and we got to hang out in the museum.

The staff was amazing and kind and worked extremely well with the kids.  I watched in wonderment.  I couldn’t have done what they did.

If your kids have any interest in being a paleontologist, do this.  It teaches them what it really is.  (And there were a TON of pebbles, so it’s a good thing I brought hiking shoes even if the heels would’ve made more of an impression.)

( I slept in a tent.  And used an outhouse.  And I’m alive!)

(P.P.S.  SUPPOSEDLY that whole Jurassic Park/World series is scientifically impossible.   I just can’t believe Micheal Crichton would write such fiction.)

After cleaning a femur with a tooth brush, we were shown different bones. I wish I remembered which bones they were…

Dear Youngest and I also went to the Calgary Stampede

Too. Many. People. Not. Enough. Clothing

But we had fun riding the rides and playing the games and getting free ketchup bottles with either a picture or a message.  I’m okay never going back now.  I feel like nothing can surpass the free ketchup.

Nothing says love like ketchup

Dental Conferences

Ah, dental conferences.  We went to Seattle and Chicago. Idaho, and Utah are yet to come.  Such is the life of the President of the MDA.  I know.  You’re jealous.  If you saw how many toothbrushes I had under my sink, you’d be even more jealous.  When the zombie apocalypse comes, my teeth are gonna be so white.  I’ll blind those zombies away.

The fountains at Navy Pier were a highlight of our Chicago trip.

And this is why I’ve been gone from here.  I’ve been literally gone.  And when I wasn’t gone, I was doing laundry.  (or dehydrating)  It’s hard to type and fold clothes at the same time.  So instead, I’ve watched the first two seasons of Schitt’s Creek and I’ve taken Moira as my role model.  When I get dressed in the morning, I ask myself, “Would Moira wear this?”  And since summer has started, the answer has been generally no.  But once it’s under 87 degree weather, just watch out.  I’ve been hoarding some Betsy Johnson classics.

Well, that’s the last two months.  I hope you’ve been having an enjoyable summer thus far.  If you have not, you should start watching Schitt’s Creek.  It’ll change your life.

Thank you and good night.

(P.P.P. S.  I may not go to the Idaho Dental Conference.  During the time between writing this and publishing it, I’ve realized I’m losing my mind and may need a break.)

author
Marianne Hansen

I am a humor writer, wife of a dentist, mother of 3 and purchaser of shoes. I have a JD from U of Iowa, and an MA and a BA from BYU, but I’m still trying to convince my family I know what I’m talking about. When not writing or watching bad television, I can be found answering the question: “What would happen if I…”

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