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A Complex Time

The world became complex and I freaked out.

The world became a complex place.  I freaked out and ran away.  I know I said I would post every day of quarantine, but that was when I thought it would be two weeks.  And before online schooling became real.

I deal with real life awkwardly, so I find it best not to go through awkward stages online.  That just leads to awkward apologies.  And I believe someone who yells at her Weight Watchers app because she just found out she ate a week’s worth of points of chocolate cake in one hour is not someone who should write about serious issues on line.  At the same time, I don’t want to ignore serious issues.  So I become paralyzed.

Then I found Sophia Money-Coutts.  Her website made me laugh. I needed to laugh.  I enjoyed laughing.  And that’s basically what I try to do here.  Look at life and laugh at it.  I do better with personal conversations in person – usually in the car.  I’m thinking therapists should start using cars instead of couches – your audience is captive and they have to risk serious bodily injury to escape.  (This is also a good place to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees.  If you have to have your hands on the wheel, there is less risk you will make awkward hand gestures.  And if your eyes are on the road, you can’t see if your kid is embarrassed and possibly end the conversation.  You can say what you think they need to hear without seeing their reaction or being weird with your hands.  The car is perfect.)

I also read Sophia’s website bio and it should be canonized as an example of wonderful website bios.  I plan on changing mine but not immediately because most of you will probably read mine and then hers and if I pilfer as much as I plan to,  I don’t want you to realize how few hilarious ideas are actually mine.  She said she treats her website as a diary and sometimes forgets to write for ages.  This is a much smarter approach than stating you will post daily for the rest of my life.  I haven’t written in my dairy daily since college when my life was far more interesting and should be documented.  Especially if they are to be believed in the future.  But they are for after I’m dead and my children need to bring some background info to their therapists – that are hopefully driving around in a car.  Then their therapists can write papers on things I did and become famous.  (Who knows?  Perhaps one day there will be a plaque dedicated to the year I lived across from the topless bar, above the pet store, in the loft that didn’t have walls that went all the way to the ceiling.)

So the world isn’t perfect and it’s a little crazy and there are days I want to run away from it.  Then there are days where I am thoughtful and inspiring.  You probably won’t get any of those.  You’ll probably get the days where I have time to reflect on what I’ve learned on the river while kayaking at dusk.  (I learned I don’t like it.  It’s REALLY buggy and so there are a lot of people fly fishing and they don’t like it when you kayak near them but if you have no idea where your pull out is and so you hug the right side of the river the whole time, they’re going to have to deal with it.  Bugs + angry people with hooks = not my fave.)

Anywho – I hope this works.  Otherwise, I hope you find a nice therapist with a Mercedes.

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