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An Alleged (3 month long) Panic Attack

Where have I been?  I’ve been living in a small town.  And it caused a slight panic this summer.

At the beginning of summer, I did a triathlon sprint distance and I was feeling pretty proud of myself.  So I decided to go for a road bike ride in the morning and a mountain bike ride in the evening in June.  During the mountain bike ride, I crashed.  And I ended up landing on a handlebar that somehow was bent straight up.  It hurt.

I had to get surgery, to make sure all the veins and arteries weren’t too badly destroyed.

This sounds bad, but to be honest, it wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was the fact that EVERYONE knew.  I woke up the day after the surgery to see that I actually knew my surgeon and had gone to Christmas parties with him.  My husband would come home from work, ask me if I knew someone because they’d heard about my accident. I didn’t always know them.

I left the country right after, so Kevin wanted extra opinions this would be ok so I saw a couple extra doctors.  A friend went KAYAKING and my accident came up.  (It came up a lot mountain biking, but that’s within context.)  Another friend went to a quilt shop in ANOTHER town and heard about it.  I went to the public pool and saw my general practitioner and made a fool out of myself (future writing there.)  For about 4 weeks, I was asked how I was.  This is incredibly nice but odd when you can’t figure out how someone knows…

Having people know details about my anatomy and discuss it kind of freaked me out.

THEN, ok, this is where I admit slight stupidity, I messaged two friends on Facebook and I wanted to delete the messages.  You can’t delete personal messages.  I felt like an idiot for what I’d written and there was NOTHING I could do about it.  (You can delete posts, so I thought you could delete personal messages.  There is some logic there.  Give me a break.  Didn’t you hear?  I was in an accident.)

And then I realized the world is very, very small.

I know I wrote about the accident on here, but who reads this? At least in town…  I’m huge in Taiwan.  On Thursdays.

I freaked. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep blogging because I was freaking out about people knowing things about me and to continue to write about myself on the Internet seemed counter-intuitive.  (All of my therapists agreed.)  So I stepped back and I really couldn’t decide what to do.  I did pretty much the only thing a person should do in an indecisive situation.

I put the question to Facebook.  And 5 people said yes.  So here I am.

But some things will change.

1.  Due to copyright, I will be posting personal and probably unrelated and unidentifiable photos instead of relative ones from the internet.

Ooh Look! Park Lake!

2.  Occasionally I will make something completely up to see if people in town really do read this.

3.  And during Chinese New Year, my entries will be entirely in Mandarin.

What do you think?


  1. le0pard13 says:

    I’m all for it. Glad to see you back, though. 🙂

    1. Marianne says:

      Thanks! It’s been a while! I’m beginning to read posts as well 🙂

  2. Well, I will read your blog, but not the one in Mandarin.

    1. Marianne says:

      I promise to have pictures.

  3. Mona says:

    Glad you are back …aahhh, that facebook! It’s like a friend you should never trust…Still, FB vote was pretty good…you are back! : )

  4. Kelli Butenko says:

    I think we’re still going to post a sign where you crashed. At the very least, we’re going to work the sign into conversation every time we see Melinda just to watch her squirm.

    1. Marianne says:

      As long as there isn’t a picture of me on the sign… or my name… or mention of my injury. Maybe the sign could just say: “You are here.”

  5. livrancourt says:

    I think I heard this story in the grocery check-out line…
    Nah, just kidding.

    1. Marianne says:

      If you were in Helena, you might have. I think there was a special edition of the Inquirer…

  6. Sesika says:

    I figured we didn’t hear from you because, you were so busy training for your next big event. I didn’t realize your injury was so… publicized. Think of it as free advertising. You should publish your book asap to take advantage of said publicity! 🙂

    1. Marianne says:

      I was training as well but not really. We’ll pretend that’s why I was gone.

  7. I’m glad you’re still around. Remember, running away to Canada is still an option (even if it’s just for a weekend!)

    1. Marianne says:

      I may do that because SIWC is looking harder and harder to get to this year.

  8. welcome back…missed you! and you still gotta go back to that mountain to show it who’s boss!

    1. Marianne says:

      I got back to a dirt road with slight hills. I’m good at baby steps.

  9. Trish Loye Elliott says:

    Welcome back! I hear ya about the ‘too much info’ out there stuff. It’s hard to find a balance. Love reading your posts though. Glad you’ve decided to hang online again!

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