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Today I am taking you down into the rabbit hole of my complete and utter lack of holiday spirit.
And if that doesn’t grab you and make you want to read more, I don’t know what will.
The holidays aren’t doing it for me this year. I understand that it’s a time of giving and charity and kindness and brotherly/sisterly love, but I think this year is broken. I’m just not feeling it.
I’ve run out of patience.
I think the last straw was ordering my own Christmas gift. I wanted someone else to put in the effort of searching it out on Amazon and then hitting enter once because everything else is automatically done for you. I thought, “Seriously? No one else can order this for me?”
So while I was feeling sorry for myself, I thought, “Well, why stop there? Why not do some more ordering while we’re at it?”
So I ordered new tattoos for the office skating party.
And I ordered stickers to put on our lightening plug chargers so they look like faces and everyone will knows whose is whose and we will find out who has been stealing all of the chargers. (I don’t know how I’ve lived without these.)
And then I searched clearance items.
And I ordered 18 pairs of cheap Christmas earrings.
And I ordered $10 pink sparkle boots with pink fur. (This link is not for the ones I purchased but wish I had because they look like bunnies.)
I got a catalogue in the mail of food mixes and I thought they looked cute so I ordered the Country Breakfast set because the tea towel was so adorable and I’ve been cutting back on carbs which means I also ordered two cans of pancake mix and a peppermint cupcake mix and syrup.
I went on GMA’s Steals and Deals and ordered a giant beanbag chair that turns into a bed so that my kids can just sleep on that for the rest of their lives and I never have to make a bed ever again. Ever.
And then I realized I hadn’t gotten my in-laws anything and so I ordered a drone. I was a little delusional by this time and it seemed like a great idea. Leave me alone. I’m not returning it and they’re very nice people so I will never truly know how much they never thought of buying themselves a drone.
Now you may think that all of this is superfluous and I should be helping others, etc. I will write about how well that’s been going this year another time, but you will be happy to know that the pink sparkle boots with fur DID NOT fit me at all and so I gave them to a friend. After I got over my bitterness.
How are the holidays going for you? Have you bought your own gifts? Did it send you on a spiral of ordering things you never thought about before? Please let me know.
And let me know the best thing you bought during one of these spirals. Because I’m pretty sure my mother and father-in-law are about to get into professional drone racing once they realize how much they love it.
(And if there aren’t professional races, I bet they originate a few. It’s going to be life changing.)