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How to Be COMPLETELY Embarrassed with 5 Easy Words

I have Piriformis Syndrome.  My piriformis muscle is pressing on my sciatic nerve causing me to not be happy.  Your piriformis muscle wraps around from the front to the back of your hip.  I’ve heard it called runner’s butt.  It’s attractive no matter what you call it.

The way the doctor finds out you have this is by making you put on a pair of shorts, giving you a wedgie so he can see your butt cheek, pressing down on your butt cheek while moving your leg around and asking, “Does this hurt?”

If you answer YES!! YES IT DOES!!!  Then you have piriformis syndrome.  And you spend a lot of time doing fascinating stretches that emphasize your butt and sitting on ice and heating pads.

Sitting on a heating pad does not in any way make you feel incredibly old, FYI.

I was lying on my stomach with an amazing wedgie when my doctor noticed a bruise.  I do not look at my gluteus maximus in the mirror often and I did not realize I had a bruise.  I, however, did not want to look like an idiot who doesn’t realize when she runs into things, causing bruising, so I said, in front of the doctor and assistant, “I like to be spanked.”

Yes.

Yes, I did.

There’s no going back from that except to post it on your blog.

0 Comments

  1. I have tight piriformises (piriformi?), too. Mostly on my right side. It’s the worst thing to massage, ‘cos it’s so deep. Sitting on a tennis or lacrosse ball helps, I find.
    Dying laughing about your excuse for your bruise!

    1. Marianne Hansen says:

      I use a tennis ball a lot as well. I just want to get back to running. I’m hoping next week.

      1. Good luck! You’ll keep us posted, right? Because your buttock health is important to us.

  2. livrancourt says:

    Because in your world, spanking is the next logical step?
    Hmm…

    1. Marianne Hansen says:

      I could say “I have three kids” but that makes it kind of worse, doesn’t it.

  3. Emilie Rawson says:

    I don’t know which is more hysterical you saying you like to be spanked or the visual of Kevin spanking you. Either way I’m going to be laughing for quote some time. Thanks.

    1. Marianne Hansen says:

      Don’t think too hard 🙂

  4. Megan says:

    I’m sorry about your bum, but this is so funny.

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