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How to have a BFF without them knowing

I have a running joke with my two friends in tri training that the swim instructor is my new BFF because I’m at the pool M-F.  He just doesn’t know this.

I find this to be a minor point.

I like imaginary relationships.  They take the pressure off of ever finding time to do anything together.  You can drive by their house, and just hang out in your car on the street.  It doesn’t even matter if they’re there.  (But if they are there, I recommend you hunch down a little.)

You can tell people they think you are wonderful without any basis whatsoever.  Just make sure they don’t hear you.

Because THAT would be embarrassing.

(Dear Swim Instructor, This is strictly hypothetical.  I’ve never done a drive by of your house.  But I have a strong feeling I would love your curtains.  Sincerely, the redheaded girl in swim class you nod your head to when you see)


  1. I used to tease my husband about being imaginary friends with the Asia correspondant for BBC when we lived in Thailand. “What do you think Mike Chenoy would think of your new shirt?” I’d ask. Really. It’s amazing we’re still married.

    So…I support imaginary everything.

    1. Marianne says:

      I bet he loved the shirt

  2. That’s hilarious! Maybe this is going to make you want to do a drive-by. Ha!

  3. Tami Clayton says:

    Lol. I can totally relate. Real relationships can be so time consuming. 😉

    I rather enjoy my imaginary BFF’s. They are amazingly supportive and say just the right thing at the right time. At least in my head they do.

  4. corajramos says:

    Is he cute or is that imaginary too?

  5. Squee! Fellow members of the Imaginary World Hokey Pokey. My next door neighbors in mine rock.

    Great post. I love your humor hits.

  6. livrancourt says:

    You kill me. You really do.

  7. I had crazy visuals at “swim instructor.” Thanks for not ruining these mental images by mentioning the word that kills all imaginary and real relationships…speedo.

    I doubt I’ll be able to keep a straight face and will probably break out in laughter this week while I’m swimming my laps. And that’s dangerous because I bet I’ll choke and inhale the pool and ultimately embarrass myself if I don’t drown first. Or best case scenario everyone around me will think I’m deranged and clear out (which is good because we usually swim 3-4 to a lap land! grrr)

    Thanks for the laugh, I think.

    1. Marianne says:

      I swallow water all the time, trying to smile and wink.

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