This public service announcement is to find out if you are living as posh a life as me.
(Please do not confuse my poshness with Posh Spice poshness. I’ve been known to be seen eating.)
- Join your husband and and kids and two neighbor kids on a drive to Park Lake.
- Stop at a local grocery store and buy their huge sandwich.
- Ask the deli to slice the sandwich.
- Only notice once you are halfway to Park Lake that they only sliced the huge sandwich in half and you have 8 people to feed.
- Also while driving, start feeling sick.
- Ask husband to take you home then decide you need to spend family time together so keep going.
- Eat sushi on the drive because sushi has rice and rice settles stomachs no matter what the other ingredients might do.
- Scream “Pull Over” and know you won’t throw up yet because you are destined to throw up in the car.
- Start throwing up out the window 2 minutes after you get back in the car.
- Make sure to lean over your arm so that you can get it all over the side of your car AND arm.
- Then get out of the car and puke some more, making sure to get it on your socks as well.
- Get to Park Lake.
- Arrive to find out the only other people there are a family your husband knows and you get to be introduced to from a distance.
- Explain why you are at a distance to a complete stranger while smiling.
- Lie down on a towel and try to fall asleep.
- Feel tugging on your sock. Think it’s the dog.
- Look down and see a CHIPMUNK eating vomit off your sock.
- Cry a little
It’s easy to see why a chipmunk would be attracted to me
And now for the advanced degree in poshness.
On the next day, the septic system will get cleaned out but they won’t put the lid back on; they’ll only put it in the whole sideways.
Your daughter will throw a ball and the dog with run to catch it
And FALL INTO the SEPTIC system.
You will then wash the dog three times and spray her with many things made for dogs to get smell out.
Then you will take her to the groomers and have them give her a buzz.
She has no hair. Poor thing
Now be honest.
Don’t you “Wannabe” like me?