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I went to the Amazon

The Amazon was different from anything I’d ever done before.  I’ve been to a lot of places, but it still surprises me when people don’t have modern plumbing.  Especially when they have satellite TV.

While we were there, we stayed in treehouses.  The one I stayed in had a trap door.  I had to walk along two rope bridges to get to it.  I did not feel a good center of gravity whenever I walked on those bridges. I need to work on my core.

There’s no door. Do you see a door? It’s underneath…

The animals in the Amazon are amazing.  We saw giant toads and tiny frogs and ant hills that are bigger than the bushes in my front yard.  The kids handled tarantulas and are all still alive.  We built blow dart guns while an anaconda slept in the roof above us.  We went fishing for piranhas.  I guess fruit eating piranhas grow bigger than meat eating ones, but we were fishing with beef, so we only caught small ones.  I bet we could’ve caught something huge with a watermelon.

See? Very small.

We went on a walk to learn about medicinal plants.  They showed us which vines you could cut and get water out of.  They also showed us which plants were good to stop mosquito bites from itching.  (I did not get enough of that plant.  By the end of the trip, I needed a couple dozen branches.)  And they showed us which trees have seeds that grubs like to live in the middle of.  Then they said we could eat them.  “Go ahead. But you should bite them first so you can taste the juices.  It tastes like coconut.”  They showed us what to do and then I did it.  I actually bit a grub in half and pretended I thought it tasted like coconut before I swallowed it whole.

Doesn’t it look like I enjoyed it?

They brought more back and fried them for us, but our guide said fried grubs aren’t nearly as good as barbequed ones, so I refrained.  I also think I’m a one grub per lifetime kind of person.

I loved the monkeys by the resort.  A few years ago, a tourist saw them in the black market at the bigger town and bought them to release.  The friendliest one is named Muchacho and he would lean over on a branch to get as close to the boats as possible.  Then he would screech at us.  I have a feeling he was letting us know that humans are idiots.

We spent a lot of time in the boats looking for sloths and Camens.  The guides knew where the sloths would be, but they still just looked like part of the tree until I looked through binoculars.  Sloths don’t move much.

We all want one.

The Camens come out at night.  I held one and then it peed on me.  I took this as a sign of love and endearment.  But I didn’t want it to get too attached, so I immediately gave it back to the guide.  A frog also fell in love with me and jumped onto my shoulder.  I showed my love back by screaming and flinging it onto my niece.

The whole place is magical. I recommend a trip if you can.  I got eaten alive by mosquitos except for where my clothes were.  Okay.  So, my ankles were bitten about twenty times, but that’s a lot for such a small area.  I also made the mistake of washing my toothbrush in the water after I used it. I didn’t brush with the sink water, but then I rinsed the bottom of the toothbrush off.  It never touched the bristles.  But I think it did.  Cuz I’m pretty sure I got a tiny disease.  But that’s part of the fun of traveling, isn’t it?

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