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Although this last month has been completely horrid, it has also brought an outpouring and concern and love that I never imagined.
I must pause for a moment and thank everyone who has offered condolences and showed concerned. I’ve received so many cards, notes, texts, flowers, and hugs. Each and every one helped so much. And even weeks later I get random texts or notes asking if I’m doing okay.
This has kept me going.
It can be hard for me to mourn or cry. I feel like people expect me to be funny all the time. And although I’ve seen the irony of the past month (1% chance pregnancy followed by a less than 2% chance miscarriage… While beating the odds like this, I should head to Vegas.) I don’t feel as funny. I feel like I’m asking myself “Is this an appropriate place for a burst of emotion?” while doing inane things. (I cried heavily in the middle of The Imitation Game. I had no tears left at the end. Instead I just thought, “What a horrible ending to an amazing man. I should be crying.” But I was spent.)
In the middle of all of this questioning of myself, people have just been kind. It has been wonderful.
And I am so, so grateful.