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Next time you go on vacation, you should take me. Honestly. Please. I’m very pleasant. And I’m great at buying sporting event tickets.
I believe the following pictures are perfect representations of what it’s like to travel with me.
This is me in front of Gerrard’s which is obviously a Chinese restaurant after having a tip being demanded from me. I’m wearing a hat I bought earlier that day, but didn’t want to carry anymore. That’s the tail of a cat on my purse and I’m wearing cat socks. I was going for the tired tourist look. Nailed it.
Here I am trying to decide if I should enter the phone booth or if the smell of urine is too strong for me. I didn’t have anyone’s telephone number and it seemed odd to just stand in a phone booth without having the ability to call anyone or to turn into a superhero. It’s also not raining, but it looks more British this way. I was going for authentic Brit. Nailed it.
This is my casual pose while sitting in the Devil’s chair at Avebury Stone circle. It’s not easy to look nonchalant while trying to sit on a rock that’s not actually a chair. I think the pink raincoat and Alice in Wonderland socks help me blend in with nature. I was going for the Druid look. Nailed it.
Finally, this is how I eat every day. A nice cup of peppermint tea with some scones and cakes. By the way, that huge blob is butter. Not whipped cream to go on the scone. Do not take a large bite or add some to your tea. I’m not saying I did. I’m just saying that I know without a doubt that’s butter.
See how much fun it would be to travel with me? I can read a map and I blend in with my surroundings 100%. Almost everyone we met said, “You’re an American tourist? No way, man. Ab totes no way.”
So let me know if you’d like to take me on vacation. I can be ready on short notice. Seriously.
Probably. Almost certainly on a Friday.